Dec. 14, 2008- 9:25 a.m. Im so lonely right now and I dont know how to straighten out how I feel. I'm not performing anymore in my work and I am still longing for something that I don't know. The thing is that I just can't let go of my past I thought I've been able to do this yes for some time but after a week or two it all comes back when I am lonely. I just want to be with someone but I don't have the strength. I was able to talk with my loner friend yesterday, his name by the way is Ray and he thought me some pointers in living happy alone. I wish I can do his suggestions but it isnt enough to take away my burdain. Its been 8 months and I havent experienced anything good in my life. I'm not mad anymore and I'm just tired and about to give up. I pray everyday that God would still give me a chance to be happy. It's unfair I've been working really hard and for what? nothing... Aug. 27, 2008- 8:14 p.m. Everything in my life is so slow but the days past by like bullets. Only time is moving constantly but not my life. When I lost the thing that I cherished most, yes, I cried and tried my best to disgust me of her. But again, time flied and I’m only afraid now… I don’t want to cling on time anymore because it only shows me waste. I’m tired, exhausted, and I feel that I’m losing myself everyday. I try to smile but it only makes my cheeks hurt. I’m lonely and I feel like an old age man who have done it all and is waiting for his turn to put a dot in the last sentence of the book of his life. Defenses are down now, no more dodging, no more facing, no more skirmishing. All systems down like a lifeless log I will just float downstream… I want to contradict my self but my question is how? When everything is going wrong and every blue print that you have created in planning your life is being eaten by life itself. Being hopeless is a vice that I can’t let go right now. Standing still… I’ll wait… I’ll wait… I’ll wait… hoping that the cure to my misery will come or at least appear to me before I tell myself enough and not wait anymore…. Aug. 27, 2008- 8:03 p.m. What is love? I don’t know the feeling anymore. I spent 6 years of my life with a person and because of that I don’t have a clue of what love is anymore. I know hate, sadness, and despair, but not love. Would anyone tell me what love is? I’m sitting here in my bed wishing that someone would talk to me about love. Is it real? They say that somewhere in the world there is someone truly matched for you. How come? Or they say it because their heart is full of trickery maybe because they let their heart think for them. I don’t believe in things like that. All I know is that we have because we choose. I can say I love you and then laugh at it… I’m lost… let me write a poem… I’m naming it Julia… Julia is a girl I once knew Julia, Julia, my sweet Julia Now I remember you Tell me Julia are you real? Until next blog… Aug. 27, 2008- 8:01 p.m. It’s my second pack of cigarette within an hour and as I take another stick I stare again. I know I can do this I want to spill it all out… I’m tired, my head hurts and my whole body is numb. I’m so tired, I have nobody and the one who understands me most is gone now taken away by destiny. My heart won’t let me rest; my mind keeps going and going with worthless ideas and memories. The life I have didn’t change, only those people around. I’m so fed up with all of this, I want to sleep, and I want to rest. I don’t want somebody who will comfort me… I just want to get away from all of this. I don’t believe in people anymore all that I believe now is that I am on my own and whatever I have is because I worked hard for it. Everyday I pray that when I wake up I would feel good about myself and my life because if I wake up lonely I would not escape from the feeling the whole day. I think I need help professionally because sometimes I just want everything to end. I’m writing right now not because I want to but because I must, I need to brag what I feel and this piece of paper is all I have. I feel old and my life is ending. I hate my heart! And I wish it would just stop beating. All it does is make me cry. Lord, I pray that one day you would take away all this pain because I think I can’t do this anymore. I’m so pathetic right now… and no one will understand me and no one will care. I’m just glad that I have this privilege to tell what I feel… My head hurts so badly and I can’t write anymore… Until next blog… May 10, 2008- 7:00 am I'm happy now and even if I'm not contented yet I guess I have to stick to my plan to never forget and move on with my life. Fuck those who hurt me and I swear that I will never forgive. I will be strong and I will be a different person from now on. Even though I know it will take time. I know I can because I can't do anything about it. Dwag! That means coward and I will not forgive but I will move because I've proven already that I'm all alone now and no one else will be there if I ruin my life. No one in this world at least that is what I think right now is trustworthy but that is that until I found that special person. And if not I dont give a fuck because I dont believe in love anymore. I will love my self from now on above all and I will enjoy every part of my life and if I fuck up others life in doing that I dont care. Im on my own now and this will be my own boat from now on and those who doesnt to go my way can just jump off! I DONT CARE!!!! HAHAHA!!! May 8, 2008- 9:00 am I will never forgive her until I die. I'm so pathetic right now. I can't think, perform, or even function right. The past just keeps on flowing in my thoughts and the fact that it was a very good past keeps me asking why did her love disappear that quick. My good guess is external factors? Maybe someone else? I hope not and even if it is its the same thing. I want to give the world to her. She is my everything and she left me hanging and she do not give a damn even if she sees my life being crushed in front of her. I dont know if this girl is the same girl I knew just a month ago. Time passes by and things change. And from now on that is what I will think. Even love, sometimes someone wakes up and then the magic is gone. That is what happened to my girl. And she's having the best time of her life now. She says she is happy and contented now and it seems that she doesn't care how I feel. I'm so hurt and bewildered by fact that every relation can stop just like this. I don't want to have someone else but she's forcing me to do that. I don't know why. I guess she is just cleaning up the guilt that she have on her. I hate her so much. Because she left me and just watched me go on to shreds I hate her so much because I love her so much.I wish that there is no love in the world so that things like this would not happen. Im hurting inside and out and I cant even think. I don't have the will to live anymore. My life sucks from the beginning I was born and it seems that it just gets getting worser and worser. I guess this is my destiny. Some are born to succeed and I know now that my destiny is to fail. Fail at everything, have it all and lose it all. She is the source of my strength and she left me hanging. I'm so desperate right now and broken. I just want to end everything. In fact I have written a dozen of suicide letters already. But the funny thing is I'm so dedicated at first and when I go to the end of the letter I just feel tired. This hate in my heart will never disappear and forgiveness is not in my vocabulary right now. I will never forget the time when I loved someone and the one I loved betrayed me and let the will of the world dictate to her what to do. I'm at my threshold and hopefully when I explode the Fareal before will not be the same Fareal again. I wish to be reborn not for the worse but into someone who doesn't have a heart because I don't believe in love anymore. I want to be reborn as someone who thinks that everybody in this world is just there for the moment. I don't believe in friends and thanks to her I don't believe in love anymore. My only "GOAL" right now is to be rich. Money doesn't live you when you care for it not like the rational creatures that God created. And so my last hope is to hang on to money. I will buy everything I like in my life. And learn never to forget and forgive those who hurt me. I can only do so much. I'm not a saint, I used to be kind but now I don't know its just pure hatred that I feel. And even if I will not be here anymore or I die tomorrow, that is if I go ahead with my master plan. I will hunt this world with hatred and pain because this is what feel right now. This is my fucking life and I'm so pathetic right now. I have no body, no friends, no love ones, and the one person that I can talk to is a lunatic. One by one bits to bits. I hope I forget and move on already. I don't want to kill my self but sometimes I cant control it anymore . If I go through this and maybe after sometime I move on I guarantee the world a new fucked up version of me will arise and I can't wait for that to happen. I WILL NEVER FORGIVE AND THAT WILL BE MY STRENGTH! April 30,2008- 12:36 a.m. Tell me now what does it feel after 6 years? Fareal: I'm angry, scared, sad, and the trauma that this relationship brought to me will, I guess last more than 6 years. Im 22 years old now and I guess I will die alone because Im scared now. And my desire for a lasting relationship is no more.... April 30, 2008- 12:13 a.m. Im scared to even imagine what my life will become now that I'm all alone... The way things are I feel that I'm at my worst. I have no future, no life, no dreams. I want to scream help, but who would come? Those who hurt me again and again. No, I wont accept help from them. From now on I will stay with this curse... I hate everyone but I cant tell them because they think im not. I cant tell them to stop messing my life. I just want to be somewhere that I would be alone with no problems whatsoever. I wish that I find that place, a place of solitude and peace. I hate my life, but worser now Im alone and I still hate my life. I dont know what to do anymore... Pls give me a gun so that I can end this right now. There is no sense in living a life that has no purpose, no dreams, no desire. Im typing just typing all my thoughts right now and I hope whoever reads this forgive me for what I am thinking right now. Sorry because your the one who read my patheticness if thats even a word. Im sleepy, tired and I think I will retire hope that this none sense would stop because right now for me this is only the sensible thing to do. Sorry and gudnyt. April 29, 2008- 5:43 p.m. May. 18, 2007- 9:00 p.m. My moral is falling and my self esteem is deacreasing. I hope that something will happen this week that will change my attitude. But I am not giving up even though I think that my capabilities are not that good. I am still hopping to be at least one of the average passers. They say that the board exams this june will be one the hardest. There are many things to consider that I lack if I fail this exam but the equallity of the factors that I should have done affect the equation. It will be with outmost shame if I fail this exams and I will never forgive myself if I fail. I know the time for change is now and if not there are only few days for it. All the support and trust in me by the people that I love will all go to waste if I fail and if Feb. 10, 2007- 7:46 p.m. Jan. 31, 2007- 12:34 a.m. Jan. 31, 2007- 12:30 a.m. Whahahhaha! another emotional bullshit! hahaha!!!! bye bye Jan. 30, 2007- 5:37 p.m. Jan. 30, 2007- 1:12 p.m. Hay naku! kainis talaga but this is the fact that I must face because the world won't stop for me. I guess I too like other people must learn to dance with destiny. I'm becoming more boring and more boring each day and that I guess is an indication of maturity. All the little things must not be ignored and for that I become someone that I was not before. Enough chit chat wiht myself let me tell you or myself a quote that I would like to remember, it is from the book tuesdays with morrie "Learn how to die and you will learn how to live. Jan. 16, 2007- 12:26 p.m. There are lots of things in this fucking earth that makes no sense and all those bulltshit about things happening for a reason really makes me puke because nothing really happens for a reason, it happens because it just fucking happens, that's it, no more no less. Why do air exist because it fucking exist. Why are people created? because the earth made a fucking mistake of making them! Why do people die? because their body can't perform no more. Nothing last forever! duh! I hate people who think that the world is a place where everyone must be happy! I hate people who are afraid to hurt other's feeling but does not think what may happen to them! I hate people who are afraid to face their fears. I hate people who are helpless! I hate my self because i am that! I hate being kind! I hate being a person who agrees with everyone! I hate being used by others! I hate it! I Hate it! I hate myself because I don't care! I hate myself because I helplessly created what I am now Sept. 04, 2004- 11:15 a.m. Well I just read the story of my friend about a boy who has an imaginary friend. It is such a good story especially if one can relate to it... hehehehe!!! Daren!!! *Joke* I am just consuming time and writing at my on-line journal because it is a requirement at my school to have 4 hours of internet every sem... or may I say for them to earn 120 pesos every sem! I am so envious of my friend jesse that I think that I will also write a simple story too... There was a boy named dudong he woke up and pivoted so that his posterior portion will become anterior and as he dorsiflex and plantarflexed his feet he saw on visceraly a man who takes a can full of Erythrocytes and the man runned a simmingly uniform speed which is a constant velocity of 50 m/s. So Dudong runned after the man who stole the blood and as they almost reached the end of the road they came to a clift and the man jumped and fell 100 ft at an acceleration due to gravity of 9.8m/s2 and as he impacted the ground his bones was crushed and he had a severe hemorrhage and he died... That is the story of the unknown man. Hehehehehehe!!! Bye! Wala lang... Thanks mwah! I Think I need to take my medicine! bye ulit! Sept. 04, 2004- 11:13 a.m. Jun. 03, 2004- 2:25 a.m. I know I will be eating my words if lakers lose... So please Lakers don't fucking lose. As if they can hear me... It is so boring and I have nothing to do. About the performance of my friend's band, let me say... They need to practice more... "peace!" hahahahahaha!!! I'm so invinsible and no one can touch me!!!! hahahaha!!! Lakers rule!!! hahahahaha!!! I need a life!!! hahahahaha!!! About nga pala sa somebody that is visiting my site can you please leave a message at my tag-board just to validate that you are real... Thanx! ShadowOgre!!! may ibang bumibisita ng site ko!!! hehehehe!!! I'm so happy!!!... Yes! I'm a loser.... Hi to my friends and my love ones.... I LOVE YOU ALL!!!! God, I'm such a fagot ... bye! P.S. An on-line diary is only healthy if you are not a loner!!! Because if you are a loner you will have the tendency to talk and praise your self... I'm so cute!!!! Stop typing you handsome creature you... You extremely erotic being... You being that was sent to Earth for the sole purpose of being beautiful!!! May. 28, 2004- 1:43 a.m. Well it has been a busy day for me today. Many things happened, but first! Go lakers! you rock! they won game 3!!! hahahaha! just like wwhat kobe said to me!!!---> back to me agin... today, I went with joy, "sigh" (my girlfriend), as she shops for her new phone... we went to greenhills to trade her phone in aand buy another phone. After long debate with the vendors we atlast take possesion of a sony ericsson phone plus cash in exchage of her Nokia 3650 phone... her new phone is so cool!!! I envy her!!! hehehehehehehe.... she had already change phone 3 or 4 times, and me?... my phone sucks! I wish it to burn in hell... huhuhuhuhu! maybe not! I can't afford.... huhuhu... poor me. We went and watch Shrek two today also. It is so cool and funny, and the cat, so adorable! They call him Puss in a boots! He reminds me so much of my cat... and me... naughty and C#T3!... nevermind...(",) That's all talking to myself for now. Lakers won and Timberwolves sucks! P.S. ---> C#T3 means cute and nevermind means really... hehehe! (",) May. 25, 2004- 11:42 p.m. Well nothing happened to me today. My girl is coming tomorrow so I am cleaning up my house for tomorrow hehehehehe! I want to have a clean image... hehehehehehe!!! Yesterday I went to my former highschool classmate's house. They are practicing for a performance in d-day... whenever it is. They are doing good, hope they make good in their performance. (",) I am looking at air again seeing nothing looking at complete... blank. I'm so bored... I think I'm going to shoot myself now.(",) bye! May. 24, 2004- 3:50 a.m. I'm talking trash again, and that is why I'm telling you a story on what I had done this few months. First, I went to Paris and stayed there for almost two weeks and after that me and my family went to the Bahamas and spent a month or so in the island it was warm and so conforting, the island is so beautiful I went swimming in the beach and dried on the warm fresh air surroundings... Got you! wish it was true, but one thing I did not lied about, about the swimming in a beach, only the beach is aat Batangas a local beach here in the Philippines... hehehehehe... Wanna really know what I did this summer??? NOTHING absolutely nothing... A blank space in a space of nothingness is my activity this summer!!! I'm so boared... My cat is a tiger now he is so big and fat, hunger strikes him every minuite and my girlfirends getting broke... hehehehehehe.. poor her... That is responsibility for me!! I buy! you take care! Just joking I love my cat but I can't keep him because my mom is awfully alergic to cats... My cat is so cute.... just like me.... "thunder!!"... AAAAAA!!! just joking about my cat being cute... im the only one that is cute! "thunder!!!"... AAAAAAAA!!! okey, okey, I'll stop guess I can't lie anymore about my being cute! "thunder!!!" AAAAAAA!!! Im weakening and I think I must say farewell my goodlooking friends who awfully looks like me... "THUNDER!!!!!!!!!" NOOOOOooooo!!!! - dead Feb. 16, 2004- 1:04 a.m. Feb. 15, 2004- 2:34 a.m. Feb. 13, 2004- 7:56 p.m. There is a happening at Roxas Boulevard today, they will try to make a guiness record of most mny kissing couples at the same time! Many of my friends and classmates are going there and God what lowlifes! they are! How can they be there for valentines if they have no valentines date! I think they will just look at the kissing couples and drewl over them! God you guys are a bunch of lowlife! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! I hate lowlifes!!!! You know someone who feel cool but they are not really! Enough of that... um... God! i miss my cat... Dec. 19, 2003- 8:09 p.m. Im waiting for my former highschool school mate today... asusual, he is late again. God! im so bored, doing nothing, talking to myself again! I am starting to think again if an online journal is healthy!... My special someone is at her house in batangas, a province here in the philippines, she will spend her christmas vacation there... huhuhuhuhuhuhu... sad for me because i have no one with me this christmas. I have been thinking of my new-years resolution... hmmmmmmmmm... I think that the very best thing to change is........ um, my...... nevermind ain't christmas swell!!!... You have been noticing many dots, well im thinking of what to say... its hard talking to yourself you know. You may seen many transition in my writing, from a happy guy to a depressed son of a gun, to some normal guy again. Just dont bother knowing why, it's just my girly attitude. I like this journal so much!!! I created it from scratch. All my hardship in meorizing html codes had not gone to waste. Well have you saw my cat? ain't he cute! hmmmmmmmmmm!!!.... he got my eyes, nose, ears, and cuteness from me! That's my baby! hmmmmmm!!! his mine! "I'm just proud" excuse me.... forgive me... Um,im a happy fellow it doesn't matter what I type im a happy fellow and no one can take it away from me! Enough talking to myself... um, bye! P.S. My cat is cute he reminds me of someone .... ME (",)... sorry!!! Dec. 03, 2003- 7:51 p.m. I am not going to curch anymore... I don't know why, but I seem to lost interest. Hope that my faith will come back soon... I'm not my ususual self anymore. Maybe because of all the things that is happening to me now. Well, that is life... "hang me now.... hang me later... hang me tommorrow... hang me today... by the way I'm okey..."
Does this make sense? Well, how silly it may seem. To me, it does mean something. um.... bye. Nov. 30, 2003- 10:02 p.m. Nov. 30, 2003- 9:37 p.m. Tomorrow we will have our prelims exam and im not paid yet. So tomorrow I am going to wake up early so I can pay my tuition fee on time. Well, I have nothing more to say, my keyboard is all messed up, im messed up, my life is turning to be like shit! bye! By the way... fuck those who don't like me!!! Pussy shit asswholes! Nov. 27, 2003- 12:12 a.m. xanga.com/fareal Nov. 15, 2003- 12:17 a.m. Nov. 10, 2003- 10:16 a.m. Ahh.. It's morning again and in one hour im going to school. Yesterday me and my girlriend went malling. We watch this movie IDENTITY and I was supprised at the ending because the supposed killer was a kid about 7 years old... Ha? How the heck can a kid kill 10 man, and he can also detonate a car! There was also a scene where the bodies misteriously disappear, dont tell me that the boy can carry the bodies, and to say the fact that it was done fast.They also say that the boy has multiple personality, but how the heck can a real man become one of his personality, he even killed the guy. Unexplainable plot is what this movie had and I am saying that this movie is just a waste of time and money. As I had told you, we are at the mall. We had a swell time looking at dresses and other stuffs at the mall, then suddenly I felt buying something, something that is quite unique, so we went to the toy department and went to look at different toys and we saw lots of cool toys, then I said to myself. "Since when did toys became so cool?" We had our own picks, my girlfriend had a magnetic sculpturing toy and I had a yoyo. What was weird is I felt a contentment within myself, and it made me ask myself, "Is this what happens to lonely people?" We had fun, but my wallet did not, joke, we had fun roaming around and doing different stuffs. After malling, we went to my girlfriends dorm, outside!, then I went home excited to play my yoyo and magic toys. bye!(",) Nov. 09, 2003- 1:36 p.m. Sleeping quite late, around six a.m. made me sleep until 1 p.m.. My girlfriend woke me by calling my cell phone. Actually I just woke up, my heads still turns, and I feel so groggy. By the way I just wrote an entry today, and it is my third for the day, because I’m so excited on putting entries in my blog. Nothing happened, nothing yet, I just woke up remember? But hopefully later I will have fresh entries to tell myself. Hehehehe… “This is not right I’m talking to myself again.” They say journals are for girls, but for me, I think it is a very handy tool to use. Now I can say that I have someone to talk to. At least I’m not talking to my cat, now I’m talking to myself, “wait, isn’t that more psychotic? God, I need help…” I have nothing more to say, I’m just wasting space, I think I must go, bye (“,) Nov. 09, 2003- 2:13 a.m. Constant change of aptitude she flourishes. The constant view of the glimmering reflection I continue to see in her. As I descry her, I see a reflection of a beautiful creature surrounded with a sweet but cunning radiance. It hits me from head to toe with a force as strong as a typhoon, but as beautiful as a blooming flower in spring. I am in euphoria, a feeling of high is what I have, hold me, I might fall, because what I feel when I’m with her makes me feel that I’m on the highest peak... in heaven. I’m in love with her….. When she tells me to describe her I get afraid. The mere knowledge of her personality gives one a full library of words. Describing her makes me tremble because I know her in many ways that I don’t know what to say. Help me, I’m confused, trapped in a deep hole of words. I love all that she does. That is my problem, that is why I’m so confused. I can’t pick the right word to describe her, I can’t think, confounded with the choices of what I like in her. Even the most negative she does, when she do it….. it becomes good. Millions of word to describe her, endless choices to find, but there is one thing I know ... even the most praising or degrading word can’t describe her because she is a creature of complication and complexity, a creature of beauty and grace, and most of all she is a crucial mechanism that makes my heart run…. I love you Nov. 09, 2003- 12:44 a.m. Um... I feel quite awkward doing this. God! I'm becoming such a looser! I have nothing to do, thinking of nothing. I'm becoming like a decaying piece of leaf in a forest of despair. See, even the way I speak becomes to suck. O, well, why bother? I'm the only one reading this entry anyway. The calmness and the idleness of the room that surrounds me becomes something like a bestfriend. So much is happening around me. Just reading my H.S. friends on-line journal made me wonder and had a strage view of the past and questioned my self, what happened? We, were like brothers we do odd and somewhat weird things together and we enjoyed doing this. Hay... naku! Well... no one to blame but pride. Let me tell you about my barkada "friends". ----> flashback!---> Once we have this total cool friendship, but since this lady came to one of our freinds life things became quite troubled. Like a domino, blames fly and hate grew. The boat of our friendship started break slowly. Our group began to break into two division, I hope it is legal for me to say this... each with their own arsenal of "goodness". God! I hate what happened to our group. We got eaten by this monster that we call pride. I've been with many acquaintances and you know for me my friends before are my only one true friends. Honestly, I miss our friendship. Pardon my writing if it is awful. I know its quite sloppy and needs polishing, but why blame me, blame my school for not nourishing my brain! But hopefully my writing skills will return. Whats happening to me? I'm talking to myself again. Okey, before I go completely nuts. May I say to myself, your so cute! God I need a life! (",) Oct. 29, 2003- 12:08 a.m.
Just ranting
Im dying everyday and lossing hope literaly I been dreaming of killing myself lately and looking at my life as a worthless piece of shit.
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Time will choose when and where I will stand. This is the destiny that awaits me. Everyday I wake up wishing this would be better knowing the fact that it is another day of recurring reality.
Until next blog…
I woke up smiling and it’s raining today. I look out side and I see the moist air coupled with tiny drops of water… I’m happy and I feel fulfilled even if I don’t know what will happen today I’m still hoping that it will be fine, wishing that this will be my last ranting for today.
She takes me away without a clue
I stumbled, stuttered, and turn blue
When Julia tells me I love you.
You walked far away
I chased you and I cried sweet Julia
Then it all became a gloomy day
And it all became so clear
That Julia is a name that I once knew
Only a name, but not my boo
Are you someone or just a dream?
Because Julia, Julia, if your there
Touch me please… please, I dare…
Till my heart aches end….
It’s almost 12 am and I can’t sleep, my face is getting numb and my room is filled with smoke coming from cigarettes. I’m staring at my computer wishing to write how I feel right now…
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I'm ok now and I'm happy with my life. Everything I guess will be good from now on. I lost a lot credit points in my job because of this stupid depression. Yes the anger is still there but I promise from now on I will function well. Because all that happen with my life I will think that all of it are just bullshit.
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Its been 3 days now and I haven't slept yet. I'm so exhausted and tired and I have no will to live anymore.
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3 entries in 1 day wow! but this will be short... What does 6 years of relationship means?
Fareal: 6 years of memories... 6 more years to think of everything that had happened... 6 more years trying to move on... and after all those years your still scared to move on because you will still think of those 6 years that are just 6 years... Special yes, but still it ended with 6 years. 6 fucking years and then nothing.
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God I cant sleep, I dont know what to do I feel like I have no direction in life. Im fed up with all that is happening...
Contented
I can't take this anymore... Ang hirap ng buhay. I feel like crap and I wish that everything would stop. YES, I passed the board exams but still im not a nurse but something that an undergraduate can achieve. I hate myself for not wanting more. I hate my self for being contented with my shitty life. I wish that this would end and I wish that one day I wake up not on this earth but somewhere where my existence is of importance. Here in my life I see no sense. I just feel like an entity who is doing the same old things every day without purpose. Im contented but it's the shame of knowing that your contented with a shitty life is what hurts the most. I'm on my own know and I did what i needed to do. I achieved all that is expected of me and I didn't put shame on my family. I made everyone happy. In the mistake of making my life miserable. Im contented, now can I die?
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Hay naku... I've been studying for my board exams for weeks now. I know I am not taking it seriously but even though I think I will have a nervous breakdown if I fail.
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sadasdsadasdsadas
What makes a good blog?
What makes a good blog? A good substance? A good ability to spit out emotions? A good blogspot? A good outlook in life? A bad outlook in life? A good inbox of bullshits? A good community of losers? A good face? A good roster of friends?
Wahahahahahaha!!! I think the only reason for why a blog spot is good is because the people who are viewing you are those who want to temporarily be with you in your little temporary boring life! hahahahaha!!! Be true and realistic because the only true people exist only in real life. peace out!
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It's 3:00 am and I don't know what to say. The battery on my laptop is emptying. Just like me...
nonsense
I am wondering what makes me what I am. Is it the sperm cell that my father ejeculateed out his thing or is it the world that I lived in.
Another day
I am stunned and utterly mortified by the fact that I'm going to graduate. Yes, I am no longer a child hiding in my mothers skirt.
Crappy entry
It has been 3 years since my last entry and you know what? i still don't know what to say...
EAC Internet
It has been Eons since my last entry... My last entry was temporarity stopped when my favorite team, the L.A. lakers was stopped by the Pistons!!! whaaaaaaaaa!!! NAPAHIYA AKO.... huhuhuhu... to think that I was so assured that I challenged almost everyone who likes the opposing team to have a bet with me.... thankfully no one obliged.... hehehehehe!!!
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Cool entry!!! jesse!
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Mwahahaha!!! Lakers won the Western conference finals...huhuuhuhuhu... poor Timberwolves, even though you have Kevin Garnet who is supposed to be the MVP "most vasura player"!!!you can't beat, let me rephrase that I mean touch L.A. hehehehehe!!! Poor losers... Next victims, Pistons!!! hahahahaha!!! Wallace and the other Wallace eat shit... Hope you last until game 5 hahahahahaha!!!
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Hay another day another entry...
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Hi to myself again! lakers lost.... big deal... I'm sure they will win the next game Kobe told me! hehehehehehehe!!! Go Lakers! You fucking rock!
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At last!!! a new entry! After many months of silence I'm talking to myself again!!! hahahaha!!! ?????? Ain't I weird? Well, enough of the goofy stuff, I'm just glad that I had been able to fix my site. NO thanx to lycos, angelfire whatever you call it... They ruined my site!!! I hate that hosting site, they tell me that I can use their hosting service for free and then they block my images!!! God! I hate them, thanx to them I have created my site from scratch! RRRRR!!! Moew!!! I'ts 3 in the morning don't blame me if im weird, it is the full moon...
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May test ako bukas! wala akong pakialam! matutulog na ako... nytnyt!!!
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At last feb. 14 ended! now i'm going to bed.
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Wow!... It has been so long since my last entry. Well im typing becase... uum, nothing actually im just typing to ease my being bored. Tomorrow is valentines... hay naku!... I see many many many corny stuffs! hehehehe... I just thought of the first time I courted a girl.. God! it still gives me goosebumps.
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Well, today the school ends... Christmas break at last! I've been looking forward to this day since the first day of the second sem class started. Well, im typing at a net cafe actually im just bored so I decided to put in some entries on m journal today... I cant update my journal because the line in our house was cut off.
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haaaay! another boring day... Well nothing much has happened, asusual. Let me tell you all that i did for today... First, I went out the door, then went to school to study with my incompetent classmates, go home and type this journal. See I am a very well organized man.
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See this cool ghost!
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damn! im back again! i hate zanga! it ain't worthy! they charge you for making your on HTML geez!!
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HELLO!!!! MOVED TO XANGA
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I want to watch the movie master and commander the far side of the world. I had the itchiness to watch it since i first saw the preview, i find the coolness of battle ship warfare to be awfully extreme. At last, just a few days to go and the movie will be shown! yehey!
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She
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At last I have launch my own "cutomized" journal. It took me a week to remember,o, I mean find all the stuff about html that I learned in our computer class and it took me another week to to create my own journal.
Im so happy! At last lahat ng sama ng loob ko masusulat ko na!
This is my first journal entry and im thankful because.... bakit nga ba? A... this is my first entry.